Game Store Tips: Volume 1

Ahh the wonderful world of the Game Store.  It's a necessary evil for us gamers to venture out into the wilds and pick up our favorite FPS, RTS, RPG, or STD (Just kidding, you can't get an STD from your hand) at one of the many fine retail establishments at our local malls and suburban shopping centers. Or perhaps Microsoft sold you another overheating piece of garbage that you have to replace every 6 months. Regardless, these can be scary places, and if you're unprepared, your local Game store manager will play you like a cheap Rock Band plastic Drum set.  Spending most of my adult life either working for or frequenting these places, I am offering some useful tips on how to navigate these fuming, cesspools of nerdery.


1. Always have a girl trade in your used games.

Yeah I know, no girls on the Internet, but they do exist IRL, I promise!  This doesn't have to be a girl you're romantically involved with(hahahahahah) or even someone you're friends with.(lol) Find a girl who's willing to sell your old stuff because trust me my friends, they will get more store credit, more cash, more mouth-breathing from the employees, and maybe even some free merchandise in the form of leftover promotional items, and gaming gear.  Don't believe me?  Every time a hot girl would come into my former store, I would flirt with her, be extremely helpful and like I said give away free stuff.  This is similar to those losers who buy girl's drinks at bar in hopes of getting laid, but the difference is, it didn't cost me any money. 

Pro Tip: Ask your attractive and successful brother's (your parent's probably love him more) girlfriend, or your cousin +1 if she even remotely looks Eastern.

2. Don't buy the store Discount card, ask other customers to use theirs.

This saves you 10-15 bucks, and pisses off the employees because it cuts into their commission pay.  Alot of people don't realize that those discount cards they offer for frequent buyers or traders can be used by anyone willing to swipe their card for you.  In your face, Capitalism!


3. Learn to Powergame

Polwergaming is essentially beating a game as quickly, and efficiently as possible, abusing exploits, and conquering all foes in a matter of days or hours. All Game Store's have a return policy, usually any game you buy can be returned within 7 days for a full refund.  Use this to your advantage and stop enjoying video games and start OWNING them.  You are better than that RPG sitting over there next to the pile of Coke cans, so why let it beat you? This can save you a ton of money in the long run if you don't care about actually owning a game long-term.(Realistically, 99% of games progressively go down in value the moment you take the shrink wrap off, I don't care how cool that $120.00 dollar "Collectors Edition" looks)  there's no use in letting a game sit around for a month after you beat it and only get 15% of what you payed for it when you can get the full value by simply staying up until 5am for a few nights(Social life be darned) and embracing the philosophy of Forever Alone.

More tips when I feel like it, Enjoy your Friday night
SAR577JWHN96

Pointless but cool: Panasonic Gamecube

Just something neat that I've always wanted to get my hands on.  This is a Panasonic Gamecube, or basically a Gamecube that could play regular DVD's.  IMO, this is something that should have came standard with all GC's, but unfortunately was never released in the US, only Japan as far as I know.  I love obscure hardware, and this is one of the coolest looking, even though I'm not a fan of Nintendo products in general.  Note the awesome digital display screen, and blue LED lights.  It puzzles me that something like this wasn't made available to the US market, perhaps to preserve Nintendo's carebear kiddy image, or maybe they didn't want to up the price on the system because I remember one of Nintendo's selling points is always that thier stuff(crap usually) is cheaper than Microsoft and Sony.  What I like about this system so much is it looks less like a toy, and more like a Gaming machine that could turn into a Transformer and kick your ass.  Anyway, if anyone is lucky enough to own one of these, feel free to share your opinions on it.

Things you might not know

Hello followers, apologies about my absence for the past couple days, but I had to concentrate on things other than blogging, I notice I have an amazing 276 followers now, so I just want to say thank you so much for supporting me and this blog.  I mainly made this thing to show off my huge collection of classic, and obscure retro games, so It's cool to see so many people interested in my passion as well.

Since I believe talking about  common, or popular games is boring(honestly, what could I write that you haven't already heard or experienced about Mario?) I'm going to share some knowledge I've picked about about retro stuff that you probably didn't know or haven't heard before.

lol Goku?

I know many of my followrs are probably(or openly) Anime fans and one of the things that has always bothered me about retro games is how anime titles are often butchered, or completely changed for their American version releases.  Anime titles usually had the titles changed, and some of the graphics completely redone.(many of you might be familiar with the NES game "Dragon Power" basically being a much dumber version(heh) of the Dragonball series)

Another such titles which personally pisses me off even more than Dragon Failure is the game "Last Battle" for the Sega Genesis.  This game is actually a dumbed down version of the ultra cool anime "Fist of the Northstar" Which I fondly remember watching on Cinemax at 4am when I was a kid.  I was blown away by how ultra violent and cool this movie was so imagine my glee when I found out there was a video game based off of it.  Then my hopes sunk when I picked up a copy and found a douchebag who looked like David Hasselhoff on the cover and all of the great things about the movie were taken out in favor of some lame karate fighting and badly translated dialogue. 

Anyway that's my little rant, Opinions about this?  I'll be catching up with all my followers today so comments are appreciated :)

Durrrrr

Retro Gaming for cheap: The FC Twin

Hot Pac-on-Pac action

My first hardware review, gonna make this a regular Saturday ordeal.  Have you ever tried to pick up an original NES system, signed over your house as collateral for the price, then got home only to find out the stupid thing doesn't work half the time unless you blow on the cartridges or hit it with a blunt object?  Here's your answer right here ladies, the FC Twin system.

The FC Twin is what's called a "Famiclone", It's a clone of the original NES/Famicom system that was made in Japan (bet you think you're smart now).  The backstory is basically Nintendo's licensing has expired on these older system's hardware, so anyone can make them now.  The benefit to you, the consumer is a much better, and cheaper piece of equipment that's easilly available to be ordered online, go here.  I've purchased from The manufacturers Yobo Gameware before and they're cool guys, I'd recommend them over the other Famiclones circulating around.  The FC Twin is a great system, Is compatible with MOST NES and SNES games(sorry no Battletoads lol) and even Famicom games without a mod. Sounds like a winrar to me.

Now that you've saved all that money by not buying an old SNES and NES separately, you can spend it on this bad boy:

Oh yeah

Forever Stallone

Since I did probably the best Movie-to-game adaptation yesterday It's time to talk about one of the worst ones!(although generally when a movie to game adaptation comes out, being good is the exception not the rule)

 

You know what?  It's Friday, and I really don't want to talk about Cliffhanger: The Game (you lost it). I can describe why you should never play this game in one sentence, If you stand still for too long you freeze and it's Game Over.  Enjoy your Friday night guys, unless of course the post title describes you :(