Retro Gaming at it's finest

16 bit is not cool


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Internet killed the Vidya Star: Sonic the Hedgehog

...and the moment John put on his custom made Sonic fursuit, a billion Dad's across the world all cried out at once in disapproval..."YOU ARE NOT MY SON"

You all should be ashamed of yourself.  Why Sonic?  Why not humiliate a less memorable character like Alfred Chicken from that crap SNES game that nobody remembers?  Nope, the bowels of the Internet had to go and desecrate one of the most beloved characters from my childhood.  It's been a gradual thing it seems, over the years I've watched it get worse.  Before, I simply avoided doing searches for Sonic on Deviantart, but now, god help you if you type his name into a standard Google Image search.

Not that I'm constantly searching for pictures of the poor guy, but it's like that uncle who was really cool when you were a kid, then he moved away and you don't see him anymore.  Then you attempt to re-connect by finding his Facebook profile and notice it's filled with pictures of him and his boyfriend on vacation and you just can't stop looking at how tan he is....Yeah.

Oh Chris-Chan ^_^
It seem's I'll never understand the Internet's fascination with drawing one of my fond childhood memories in all manner of despicable acts.  I suspect this whole phenomenon of "Sonic the Hedgehog: WTF?!! MY EYES!!" has a much deeper, perhaps Freudian connection going on.  Trying to analyze(heh) furries and other miscreants though is a futile effort.  They're going to keep drawing bi-curious sonic and Tails "art".  They're going to keep churning out Sonic/Harry-Potter crossover erotic fan fictions and there's NOTHING you or I can do about it.  This the reason I literally haven't played a Sonic Game since like 1998, and I will continue avoiding them.

I Remember a time when Sonic was cool, he was like the counter-culture to the whole carebear, hand holding lame-parade that was Nintendo.  He had some edginess to him, that a fat plumber simply couldn't match. However, we destroyed him, we let furries, and weirdos take away our cool video game mascot, and in all likelihood drove  a great company out of the hardware business altogether.  On that note, I leave you with a video.  if only the sick, twisted internet dwellers would have simply listened to Sonic, he was sending you all a message!