Contra 3

Rawwwr robot skeletons

If you could personify everything manly and roll it into a grey, plastic cartridge, this would be what you got.  The original Contra games were released for the NES 8-bit system, and those are great by all means, but that's not what I'm here to talk about today.  Contra 3: The Alien Wars was and is the pinnacle of the side-scrolling action game.  Think I'm wrong?  Well you're probably a girl, or a beta-male.

Take two testosterone laden dudes, with a ton of guns, about a million robotic alien douchebags and a giant Skeletorish looking robot and you have one giant ball of badassery.  I have such fond memories of this game because It knows exactly what it is.  It doesn't try to be clever and make you solve little puzzles or use unnecessary things like brainpower. Alot of great things were added in this sequel, including screen clearing atomic bomb-type powerups, all the old guns from the original(Spread gun FTW) and some amazingly fun levels where you have to hang from your one massive bicep and blast flying aliens.

Graphics - 9/10
Sound - 8/10
Gameplay 9/10
Manliness - 10/10

Ready for something a bit more obscure?  Check out El Viento for the Sega Genesis.  It was made by the awesome company Renovation.  Sort of an anime-manga type deal where you play as a hot chick who gets powerups and runs around huge levels.  Had ridicuously funny particle effects(lol pixels) for it's time.  Check out the video if you like this kind of stuff.