Second update today: MADDEN!

Here's a little flashback for anyone watching NFL Wildcard weekend tonight, remember when you had throw passes to little dwarfs and listen to John Madden's voice tell you how bad you suck in all it's 16-bit glory?

Is dat some Turbo Grafx 16?

Oh yes, we're talking about one of the rarest, most sought after 16-bit games of all time: Devil's Castle Dracula X: Rondo of Blood, or Just Castlevania X.  A great game released by Konami for the PC Engine gaming system(Turbo Grafx in the USA).  This is one of the most under appreciated titles that came out in this era.  It's a huge game with tons of levels and lots of powerups and big, colorful bosses.  I've always enjoyed the Castlevania series because of the style associated with them and horror theme.  Dracula decides to reincarnate every year and every time some effeminate whip-wielding "Magick" user has to put him down again. Did I mention this game features SKELETONS?  

Contra 3

Rawwwr robot skeletons

If you could personify everything manly and roll it into a grey, plastic cartridge, this would be what you got.  The original Contra games were released for the NES 8-bit system, and those are great by all means, but that's not what I'm here to talk about today.  Contra 3: The Alien Wars was and is the pinnacle of the side-scrolling action game.  Think I'm wrong?  Well you're probably a girl, or a beta-male.

Take two testosterone laden dudes, with a ton of guns, about a million robotic alien douchebags and a giant Skeletorish looking robot and you have one giant ball of badassery.  I have such fond memories of this game because It knows exactly what it is.  It doesn't try to be clever and make you solve little puzzles or use unnecessary things like brainpower. Alot of great things were added in this sequel, including screen clearing atomic bomb-type powerups, all the old guns from the original(Spread gun FTW) and some amazingly fun levels where you have to hang from your one massive bicep and blast flying aliens.

Graphics - 9/10
Sound - 8/10
Gameplay 9/10
Manliness - 10/10

Ready for something a bit more obscure?  Check out El Viento for the Sega Genesis.  It was made by the awesome company Renovation.  Sort of an anime-manga type deal where you play as a hot chick who gets powerups and runs around huge levels.  Had ridicuously funny particle effects(lol pixels) for it's time.  Check out the video if you like this kind of stuff.

Remember this? if you were born any time in the 1990's then you probably don't.  For me this image of two big, burly men fighting Fabio and a large woman brings back a heavy dose of nostalgia.  Golden Axe is quite possibly one of the best games on the Sega Genesis system.  released in 1989, It's a hack and Slash adventure where you can choose from 3(!) different, classic, medieval Lord of The Rings wannabes and some skeletons.  I grew up playing this at my local arcade, remember those things?   It's rather uncommon to find in the wild now, and especially complete in the box but easy enough to pick up on ebay.  One of the games coolest features is the ability to ride on animals, which an eventual sequel was based around, but the original game is the best to look into if you're curious about the roots of these type of mindless games that created a generation of lazy 20-somethings.

Graphics - 9/10
Sound - 7/10
Gameplay - 6/10
Boobs - 7/10